find me..

16th
the fateful date i used to love and hate, now bears no meaning..

did this personality test just now.
though it`s a negative result, i seriously think it sounds true.. LOL

You Are A Relationship Doormat!

Surprise, you ruin relationships. Bet you didn't see that one coming :-) While you're a nice, understanding, and caring girlfriend - you don't put your needs first. And deep down, it's probably because you worry about getting dumped. So speak up for yourself, weed out the losers sooner, and you'll find a guy that *deserves* you.

change;
after so long of standing still, i guess it is something i need.
this time, not for anybody but myself.



it is only until recently that i started pondering over this question:
how much do i know myself ?
i guess the biggest problem with me is that i don`t know myself at all.
i always take things as they come and i never really knew what i want.
in studies, in work, in love, in life, and in everything..

the emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it...

- At First Sight by Nicholas Sparks

i realised that for the past one year or even more,
i spent most of my time waiting for something to happen.
i can do anything and even wait forever just for an answer.
i always think that as long as i hang on, things will eventually come my way..
and because i can only guess, i assume you feel for me the same way i do for you.
thus, i like to assume all your emotions has got something to do with me.
i planted the seeds of fairytale, wishing it will grow in my world of reality.
i like to look at all the oh-so-emo messages and listen to the oh-so-emo songs.
and then lie on my bed and cry oh-so-emo-ly..



i`ve taken too long,
but now, finally come to realise that you`re not worth my agony afterall.
it is actually a matter of choice to decide whether or not to let go.
although i still think i deserve a proper closure, i don`t see the point anymore.
it`s not about who is right or who is wrong, but simply a word - responsibility.
stop contradicting your words and actions & be sure of your own feelings before anything else.



i wouldn`t care if i ever mattered to you at all; because to me, you did.
i`ll say you made me grow up.
at least after this relationship, i am not as naive as i used to be anymore.
good or bad, sweet or bitter; i`d love to remember..
because it is the presence of memories that makes the future more complete.



i`ve got to know myself better than anyone else.
only then will i be capable of understanding other people.
i don`t wanna let anything fail me again,
and nobody shall have the chance to award me a death penalty anymore.



and after nearly 19 years of breathing..
i just want to find me. (: